I mean…what happened. Oh, that’s right, my baking skills are that of a six week old infant. Keep any dessert materials away from me, because I will – WILL – ruin it. I decided that, hey, I am going to make a 4th of July themed dessert, and brownie truffles are a foolproof recipe! Especially if I used boxed brownie mix!
I am going back in time and laughing in my own face. Silly Annie. The second that this recipe stepped past literally dumping pre-made batter into a baking dish, it was beyond your skill sets.
Allow me to describe the 8-year-old-cooking-skill level that this recipe entails…make boxed brownies. Destroy brownies with a fork to make “brownie crumbs.” Roll crumbs into balls. Coat in chocolate. Drizzle red and blue chocolate over top. THAT’S IT!
But, alas…this is what I end with.
Here’s my thought process: Lets add food coloring to white chocolate to make it red and blue! The result: truffle balls that belong at a gender reveal baby shower. Those are hardcore pastels. Where’s the royal blue and deep red that belong on any 4th of July treat, brah?? Apparently, even after adding like a teaspoon of food coloring, this was unachievable.
But at least they will taste good,right?! I mean, rolled up balls of brownie…how can you go wrong with that? And it looks yummy in that picture, too!
Nope. So dense you can hardly bite them in half, let alone chew them with any form of pleasure.
There’s his other gloppy twin. These two are by far the worst, so they clearly deserve stardom in this fail post. After all, when do we ever photograph the ugliest parts of the food? I’m doing this for them. It’s their time to shine. You’re welcome, globby balls of failure.
The other thing that happens when I “bake:” a nuclear explosion of chocolate, flour, frosting, crumbs, pans, and parchment paper occurs in our kitchen. Seth walks into the kitchen wide-eyed. I try to blame Boone. He doesn’t buy it. Maybe next time I can smear some frosting on Boone’s fur to make him look more guilty. A sprinkle of flour or two might also strengthen my case.
To put it simply, chaos ensues when an attempt at baking happens at this house. And then poor Seth has to try my ventures. Even he admitted that these look like they belong at a baby shower. Sigh…my attempts at patriotism were met with much failure.
Some of them look nice, despite their obvious pastel and lack of 4th-of-July-ness, but do not be fooled. They are far too dense and gummy. So, here’s your recipe:
Go to the store.
Buy a baked good that looks festive.
Bring to party.
Never make these brownie truffles.
Pretty easy, right?
I hope your 4th of July is filled with wonderful (non-fail) recipes and friends and family and fireworks and barbecues and SO MUCH FUN!